Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
