I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Randomize
