Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
MIDGETS
????
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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