you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
