saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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