So drunk its hurt
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize