Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
