I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
