3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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