yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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