I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
