Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
