dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
