He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
