Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
