My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize