Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
