i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
