Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize
