We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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