Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
