So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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