I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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