Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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