when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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