Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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