lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
