: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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