He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
