god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
