We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
