I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
third nipple confirmed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize