So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
