So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
