I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize