Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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