The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
