Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize