Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
