I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
