We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
