She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
