I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
