Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
