In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
do herpes really smell.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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