love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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