I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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