This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
