why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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