The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
