She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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