Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
