Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Randomize
