I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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