Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
