i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
