Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
