Slut skills are useful in every country.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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