FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
