Fuck appropriateness.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize