Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
