I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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