So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize