How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dick very happy bro
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
