so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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