She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
