I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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