Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
