perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
